Sunday, October 5, 2008
Miserable

When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

You don't know how much I miss you. I kept thinking of you all the time. You didn't want to talk to me during the day. How was I feeling? I felt miserable but the feeling of missing you was even worse. Yet, I had to make the first move. If I didn't, who would? I didn't want to make things worse and that was why I was the first to talk. I hope you appreciate me for doing that. Just promise me that you don't do it again. Even if you want to, sooner or later, I'll find out. In this world, you can't keep a secret forever. I'll still get to know someday. This is going to be the very last chance I'm giving you. Make good use of it, don't waste it. I love you still. Always, no matter what happens.
__________________________________________________________________

Today, my father's side came. My big nephews and nieces, arrogant ones. Perhaps they don't even know that I exist. Sometimes, I wonder why some of my cousins, nieces and nephews are no longer close to me. Am I a boring person? It's quite sad when I've to sit somewhere in the corner alone, waiting for someone to approach me. Seriously, I feel like crying when I'm typing this down. I feel like they're no longer a part of my life. It's like as though they're treating me like a stranger. I'm not exaggerating and I don't ask for your sympathy. I'll be happy if they can at least support me in everything I do till I success. Nothing more than that.

I went to Obek's house with my family after my father's side left. My mother gave me a kain batik lepas which she wore during her teenage days. It doesn't have any zips or hooks. You only have to do some folding and that's it. It goes along well with a kebaya. It's unique. Then, we took a cab there and my father's side was also there but they were leaving. Spent some time there and decided to go home. We thought of going to my parents' friend house. I kept praying to God so that they would not be at home because I didn't want them to ask me about the other night when I was with my boyfriend at the bus stop. Thank God, they were not at home. So, we went to Nazimah's house instead. Went home and updating the blog right now.

Tomorrow, I need to study Physics. Before that, I need to visit my nephew, Didi, who is currently at the hospital. His lungs are bleeding and watery. Something like that. Though I'm not close to him, I just hope that he'll get better soon.

Hey, I'm a human who is being thoughtful. After all, he's a part of my family what.



acid.death@hotmail.com

Since 07/11/08
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Rasyiqah Rahdi, Eeqa
Art Appreciator, DeviantArt|Multiply
20 July 1993


Attached to Muhd. Zulfadhli ♥
20 August 2007; 1 year 3 months

Calendar
November:
- Outdoor painting; 4 & 10
- Maths class; 5 & 6
- Biennale Race; 8
- AEM Fashion Drawing; 17 - 27
17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27
- Mother's operation; 18
- 1 year 3 months ?; 20
- Sutri's Australia trip; 27
- Fashion Drawing Exhibition; 28

December:
- TNPS meeting; 1
- Shopping with TNPS!; 3
- Sutri's coming back home! :D; 3
- Picnic with TNPS!; 4
- Chunk Fest!; 6
- Cycling with Khaty; ?

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